:s

This is sooo not the day to be feeling this. I should be high for it is Mark and I's third anniversary. But somehow, one news stung me.

I know it was I who submitted her resume to our company. It was I who gave pointers and tips. It was I who helped her. I should be ecstatic that she was chosen. But truth is, I am not. Not because I am jealous for her achievement but because the ghost of my past is haunting me again.

I have been here in SG for 6 months now. And every so often, regrets of transfering here would come to me. Regrets because career-wise, it was not the wisest decision. All of my entire being then was telling me to stay but my heart wanted to leave. It wants to go and help its owner build its career. I did not mind that we would have the same rank in SG. I did not mind at all. But now that she got accepted, I mind.

Lord, I pray that you take care of my career. I hope that very soon you would show me the light. I also pray that you take care of my heart. I hope that in a month's time you could motivate it to feel anything else but what I am feeling right now. I pray that you once again reassure me and take away all the fears rushing to me right now. I pray you make me still. And I am trying to be still, I will be waiting for you to lift me up again.

EGO BOOSTER

2 weeks ago, I filled my resignation with my company. And I filed it everyday for a week because they tried everyday to stop me and bargain me with things. I was super hesitant on retracting it but at the end if the day, what mattered most is their trust on me.

Yes, I try to believe that it is nothing else but trust. I stayed because of their persistent refusal to accept my resignation and their persistent to keep me. It is a major ego booster that should not stay in my head.

I know I would still be working my ass. I would still be working long hours. But I also believe that the end would justify the mean. And I believe that it is God's will that I stayed. I prayed real hard for this.

Consumer Course...Case Studies... Carina

I am on a Consumer Credit Course Training since Tuesday (sept 25) and though the food was great and desserts truly bountiful, work and study is as plenty.

Before the course began, we were given pre-course handouts because I had test on them on Day1. Yes, we have test and we even have a final test that if we fail, we would have to retake. How embarassing if ever.

Hay it is truly taking a lot of my energy. Speaking of which, to add on my tiredness, my boyfriend would always quarrel me because I stay late. Today, he had to wait outside our training rm for almost 2 hours with no dinner. We were finalizing our case study then so I cannot leave my groupmates. And by "I cannot", I meant Roan would not leave her groupmates like that.

Haaay. I hope everything turns out fine tomorrow with my final exam, our case study presentation and of course, with my love life.

Bat me Carina sa title? Bday nya e! Happy birthday po!

October 24

Today is the last day of Ramadan, so it was declared a legal holiday! Yay! If you're in the legal force like moi, you would be on the lookout for all these holidays. :) And yeah, Nov2 and Oct 31 were not declared holiday. Haaay... I don't think I can go to Cavite if it is just for a day. But I still hope so....

Now, what did I do today? I had a BODY SCRUB, MASSAGE and HAIR SPA! Woohoo! Also, I had my Fitness First plan downgraded! Yes, so TP and Cham, you gels might consider it. I had mine downgraded to Weekend Warrior! I can only come Friday 7pm onwards and all weekends! At least, I will pay 900 less. That would do. :)

Mark also came here early this morning :) I swear I haven't even taken my bath then yet. I'm so happy because even our dog knows him already. He doesn't bark at him anymore. The dog doesn't even make a move when he passes. Cute :)

Question for the Day:

When was the last time you spoke so excitedly about Jesus to someone?

:'(

Dasal...

Lord, Salamat po dahil me mga nakuha kaming kumanta for B9. Salamat po sa talentong pinagkaloob nyo sa kanila at salamat dahil hinayaan niyong ishare nila ito. Salamat din sa mga tumulong magtawag at magdasal at higit sa lahat salamat po sa nakamit naming tagumpay. Maraming salamat po talaga. Isa itong milestone para sa buong cluster.





Salamat din po pala sa saya na naranasan ko nung Biyernes ng gabi. Gate crasher na po ako. Masaya pramis kagaya nga ng sabi ni TP isang riot! At higit sa lahat, nakalimot si Ice pero alam kong di kayo boto sa ganun. Ayaw din po ni Mark e. Kaya di ko na po ulitin. Bago kayong dalawa tuluyang magalit sakin. Sinabi lang ni Mark na "Di ka ba nakukunsensya", naiyak na ko. Kasi alam nyo naman na nakukunsensya ko kaya ako tumitigil sa mga kalokohan ko nung gabing yun. Papakabait na po ko, wag nyo lang sya kunin sakin...

And Lord, hinihiling ko po sana na mabilis akong matuto magdrive. At sana po wala na ko masyado makitang aksidente, humihina na po kasi loob ko. Nung una, nabato salamin ko sa likod tas kanina naman po nakakita ko ng tumalsik galing sa motorsiklo. Hiling ko lang po na matuto ko agad at lumakas ang loob. Sayang naman po yung kotse, mabubulok na. Syanga pala, maraming salamat sa kotse. Mwah!

No Longer Youth

Yes, that is the sad truth. I woke up last September 6, day after my birthday with all thoughts sinking to me. First, is that my age does not fall on the youth bracket anymore. Now, I am a full pledge yuppie and no longer lying in the vague age where you are neither young nor old.

Also, that morning I woke up staring at Dad’s gift and realize, when will I use this?! Yes, I still don’t know well how to drive and I know it is gonna take time before I can really bring this to the office. Howell…



Anyway, I would like to thank people who greeted me. To all of you, I am in deep gratitude. You made me feel so special. God is really good to have showered me loved ones like you. Also, it is quite embarrassing that am not good with remembering birthdays, a lot of friends from way back in gradeschool and highschool greeted me. A lot of friends whom I just greeted days after their birthday greeted me on my exact birthdate. Embarassing but even more touching, my deepest gratitude friendships. Special thanks also to my officemates who decorated my cube and announced to the whole floor that it was my bday. Thanks that even if I have been with you for only a month, you made effort to make me feel loved.

I am now 22. I believe life’s journey is still gonna be a long one. Well, I do hope so. But looking back to the years that were, I would especially want to thank my family for being all supportive and loving of me. I want to thank them for urging me to go to UP, the very school who was contributed much of who I am today. I wouldn’t have met Mark, Blockada, YFC Yuppies, MAREs, G5, UP YFC, STATSOC, B10C, people who made great impact and touched my life more than they will ever know. Thanks my highschool friends most especially the BSTBRKADA for keeping me grounded since highschool. Thanks to B9 YFCs for making every sacrifices worth it. Thanks to my grade school friends who never forgets the way to melt my heart. Thanks to everyone. Lots of love to all of you.

PS.
Yung car sa taas, ganito na ang likod ngayon, binato ba naman ako sa Macapagal Drive, as in street after SM Mall of Asia. Inis!!! Buti na lang din walang ng nangyari pang mas masama samin.