:s

This is sooo not the day to be feeling this. I should be high for it is Mark and I's third anniversary. But somehow, one news stung me.

I know it was I who submitted her resume to our company. It was I who gave pointers and tips. It was I who helped her. I should be ecstatic that she was chosen. But truth is, I am not. Not because I am jealous for her achievement but because the ghost of my past is haunting me again.

I have been here in SG for 6 months now. And every so often, regrets of transfering here would come to me. Regrets because career-wise, it was not the wisest decision. All of my entire being then was telling me to stay but my heart wanted to leave. It wants to go and help its owner build its career. I did not mind that we would have the same rank in SG. I did not mind at all. But now that she got accepted, I mind.

Lord, I pray that you take care of my career. I hope that very soon you would show me the light. I also pray that you take care of my heart. I hope that in a month's time you could motivate it to feel anything else but what I am feeling right now. I pray that you once again reassure me and take away all the fears rushing to me right now. I pray you make me still. And I am trying to be still, I will be waiting for you to lift me up again.